“How do I make tough conversations easier with my employees?”
I find it interesting how many people ask me this with a hint (or sometimes a lot) of tension in their voices.
It seems like the “tough” part is more tough on some leaders than it is on the employees.
I get it.
You worry about saying the wrong thing, not getting your point across properly, having them get angry at you, or simply having it be a waste of time because they don’t take any action.
Or maybe conflict just isn’t your friend. You aren’t alone.
Here are a few things that I have used in my career as a leader and consultant that will increase the effectiveness of the meeting and leave your employees with a desire to actually make the necessary changes.
1) Ask more questions, give less direction. Understand their perspective and what is standing in their way of accomplishing the tasks before taking action.
2) Once you understand what their perspective is, be crystal clear on what your expectations, what specifically they are missing, and how they can accomplish the tasks or goals that they have been assigned to. Take away any opportunity for confusion.
3) Use the conversation as a basis for a development plan with timelines and benchmarks. Never walk away from a conversation with an employee without a specific plan on how they can become better and how the company will help them get there.
4) “It’s nothing personal, Sonny—it’s strictly business.” No. It IS personal. If you want your employees to shift behaviour, they have to know that you care about them personally. If you have not built a relationship of trust with this person or approach the meeting with a “I am your boss and you need to do what I am telling you”, it will fall flat.
5) “How can I help?”. Every single conversation should end with this question. It is your job as a leader to help your employees become amazing at what they do and who they can become. Always be available to support or enhance the learning and development of all of your employees.
Unfortunately, practice makes things easier. You have to do it over and over again to really feel more comfortable with this process.
Don’t ever avoid saying what needs to be said.
Get over your fears and go out and help your people become better.
